


Happily Never After

by iluvpaddedwalls



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fairy Tales, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iluvpaddedwalls/pseuds/iluvpaddedwalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt off of buckle_up kink meme- The Starship Enterprise receives a strange visitor (maybe a Q?) that turns the Enterprise and its crew into their own personal romance novel. Only one member of the crew realizes what's going on (Spock?)and while trying to get everything back to normal Jim and Bones are playing out an epic and cheesy (and full of smut) romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happily Never After

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Pure cracky goodness, based off of Disney's Cinderella with a little bit of Snow White thrown in. Not as much smut as I originally planned, they just wouldn't work with me:( But definitely smut at the end;) Not beta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Chapel was in medbay when it started. She was partially hidden in the supply closet trying to get through the requisite forms. They were slightly behind, as they had docked yesterday afternoon and McCoy had gone to dinner with the bridge crew. Nobody else was scheduled for today so she was slightly curious when the door swooshed open.

She paused with a box of hypospray containers and watched as Spock and Chekov strode through the medlab, both glowering darkly. Chapel slowly inched the door closed, leaving a small gap. Whatever had put those two in such a foul mood she didn't want any part of it right now. Though she was curious as to why those particular two were down here right now.  
"Did you find him yet?" She heard barked out. She pressed her face to the door, trying to keep the door shut while also looking out. She had never heard the Commander speak like that. Or make that kind of expression. Something was definitely off about this. She watched Chekov bow his head and curl his shoulders. "No master, I'm sorry." 

"I don't want your apologies. I want him found. I want him destroyed. I am the fairest of them all!"  
She could see Chekov frantically nodding his head. "Yes master. You are the fairest of them all." She saw Spock's lips turn up into a smirk as he plucked a small hand-held mirror from his pocket to peer into. If it was actually Spock. Maybe they'd been replaced by cyborgs, again. Or evil twins, again. Or....actually there were just too many possibilities here. 

She waited until they had their backs turned before creeping towards the main door. She could hear Spock muttering, "Damn fairies have been organizing resistance again, they must be stopped..." before she fled out the main door and kept going. ----------------------------------------------

She ran into Lieutenant Uhura outside of the mess hall. "Lieutenant Uhura, thank goodness..." was all she managed to get out before she was pressed up against the wall with a....was Uhura really pointing a stick in her face? 

"Whose side are you on?" Uhura demanded, flicking the stick in front of her in what was supposed to be a threatening manner. 

"Um, I'm not sure-" She was cut off as Sulu and Scotty rounded the corner at a run. 

"Fairy Uhura! We've got problems. The evil king has managed to capture our fair prince. And he's taken the prince McCoy as well." Scotty gasped out, bending over as he fought to breathe. 

"What? You were supposed to be watching him Fairy Scott." Uhura, or Fairy Uhura, scolded, not letting Chapel go from the wall. "And you, Fairy Sulu were supposed to be watching prince McCoy. Do you know where the evil king took him?"

Sulu gulped and looked to Scotty for help, which was promptly ignored. "Yes Fairy Uhura. They took him to the dungeon and we believe that the evil king has taken the fair prince back to his evil lair."

Uhura scowled and finally let Chapel drop back down to her feet. "But we don't know where that is you imbecile! My mother always said, don't send a fairy man to do a fairy woman's job." 

Chapel hesitantly cleared her throat. Obviously whatever was going on was something wide spread, not including herself. And seeing as she had no clue how to stop this she would just have to go along with it for now. "Um, fairy Uhura-"  
"No, Fairy Uhura." Uhura corrected, hands on her hip.  
"Excuse me?"  
I"m not a fairy. I'm a Fairy. So it's Fairy Uhura."

"Right." Chapel dragged out. "Anyways, I think I know where Sp- I mean, the evil King is. I can show you."

She was stunned as the three beamed at her. "Very well. But first we must rescue prince McCoy. He will be the only one who can undo whatever the evil King has done."

\----------------------------------  
Chapel reluctantly followed the three down to the brig. She could not only watch in bemused horror as not only did Scotty and Sulu also have sticks but the three had taken to pointing them in various directions while making 'zapping' sounds. At one point Sulu yelled something about being surrounded and they ended up being stuck in the same spot for over ten minutes. 

She finally got her first look at Dr. McCoy when they made it down to the brig. His shirt was torn and his hair was wild. He was pacing back and forth in one of the cells. He shouted as soon as he saw them. "Fairies! It's about time. Hurry up and get me out of here, he has Jim." He growled at them with a glare. Chapel was glad to see that he was acting pretty much the same as per usual. Before she could comment the three 'Fairies' lined up in front of the cell and started with their zinging noises again, brandishing their wooden sticks in front of them.

"Damn," Sulu cursed. "He's got something on here that's making our magic useless." Chapel felt her eyebrow raise. Is that what they were supposed to be doing?  
"Keep at it. We have to get him out." Uhura demanded. Chapel ignored them now and walked over to the controls, hitting the release button for the cell McCoy was in. The barrier faded and the three Fairies cheered.   
"We did it!" Scotty said happily. Chapel shook her head and rolled her eyes. She couldn't wait until this was all over. Actually, now that she thought about it, she wondered where her video recorder was... 

She didn't get time to think on it as McCoy brushed past her, running out the door and down the hallway. The Fairies, as she was now thinking of them as, yelled for him to wait and ran after him. Chapel stayed where she was, thinking about just sitting this part of it out. She lasted all of three minutes. Who was she kidding, this was perfect blackmail material, no way was she missing out.

\------------------------------------  
She could hear shouting and banging as soon as she got close enough to medbay. She almost turned right back around and left again. The Fairies were standing in a circle around a sullen Chekov who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, sulking. But it was the two in the middle of the room that had her wide eyed attention. They were twirling and circling each other. She didn't know what they were doing at first. They each had their hands clasped together and making chopping motions with them towards the other. 

Good god, they were sword fighting. With imaginary swords. Chapel couldn't help the short laugh that escaped before she could fight it back. The unemotional first officer and surly chief medical officer, play fighting like children. As the two stumbled to a side, she caught sight of the captain laying prone on a medical bed. She carefully made her way around the fighting men. As funny as this was right now she was still a nurse. She quickly looked the captain over and found no injuries. He simply seemed to be asleep.

A loud gasp brought her attention back to the fight. She saw Spock holding his stomach, stumbling back. McCoy stood victorious as Spock slumped to the ground, gave a loud groan and twitched once before laying still. She quickly backed up as McCoy rushed to the bed, gently taking one of the captains hands in his own. He kissed it gently and brushed his hair gently off his forehead. Chapel squirmed uncomfortably. 

She turned and marched over to where the Fairies were still guarding the pouting Chekov. "Let's take him down to the dungeon." Fairy Uhura looked at her for a moment before nodding. "Excellent idea." She motioned for the others to take Chekov and they headed out the door. Chapel looked back in time to see McCoy bending over the bed before the door closed. She locked it behind her. 

\---------------------------------------------------  
McCoy gently leaned over. His beloved was laying so still, so quiet. He was breathtaking even now. His lips red like a rose. His hair golden like the sun. He brushed his lips against the others softly. As he was pulling back the man beneath him moaned. He watched as the dark eyelashes fluttered before opening, revealing the beautiful blue eyes. "My beloved..." he reached out and brushed his thumb against his cheek. The blue eyes turned his way and he watched as that sinful mouth curved into a smile.   
"My prince. You saved me."  
McCoy moved closer, his voice deeper as he replied. "Always."

He kissed his beloved again, harder and more desperate now that he had his Jim back in his arms. He could feel Jim kiss him back, teeth nipping gently at his lower lip and he groaned. He settled his knee on the bed and swung his other leg over, settling down on top of the man laid out beneath him. He could feel hands slide down the front of his chest until they reached the bottom and then started the climb again, pressed against skin this time. McCoy let the shirt be pulled over his head and when he could see again he found Jim pulling off his own shit.

From there it was hurried movements as clothes were removed mixed with harsh breathing. Stolen kisses that pressed too hard, too fast. Hands gripping and sliding as sweat dripped. Murmured words that were only half heard but still stroked the fires hotter. Jim's legs gripping around his waist, tight heat gripping his fingers as Jim gasped and trembled around him. "Now Bones, now. Hurry..."

He could feel his lips move and dimly heard the replied "Jim, Jim, god..." They both groaned as McCoy pushed forward, leaning down and sealing their lips together.  
"God..move Bones, move..."  
The rest quickly degraded into grunts and groans, pleas for more, for harder. For things that McCoy gave and more. Whispered nothings quickly said before they were busy with other tasks. All rushing to the end, Jim with eyes clenched, head thrown back and mouth open in a wordless gasp. His heroes teeth clenched around the meat of his neck.

They laid there for several long minutes before Jim groaned. "Bones, god. What happened?"  
Bones shook his head and sat up, his face turning a slight red as he gently lowered Jim's legs and pulled out. "I have no clue kid. Are you okay?" Jim propped himself on his elbows and gave him a small grin.

"I'm fine Bones. A little sore but in a good way." He added with a wink. Bones rolled his eyes and stepped down off the table, reaching for his pants and pulling them on, throwing Jim's at his head. A polite cough had them both looking up and Bones throwing the biobeds blanket over the still naked Jim. "God, what the hell are you still doing here?"

"I have been here for the past 17.49 minutes. Apparently playing dead." McCoy was distracted watching the red flush travel down Jim's neck. It was very distracting. "Well get out you hobgoblin. I have to give the Captain here his physical."  
"Bones!"  
....."Indeed."

**Author's Note:**

> So this didn't turn out at all like what I imagined. Funny how that happens. Not my best but hope you enjoyed:) Just a little something to maybe make you smile.


End file.
